Weather Alert

Need A Sweater Now (Post Malone Parody)

The seasons are changing and now it’s time to get cozy! Instead of Post Malone’s “Better Now” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Need A Sweater Now”

Full Lyrics:
I’m Probably gonna need a SWEATER now, sweater now…
I feel the Temperatures are going down, going down…
The Sky is Grayer! than an Ultra-sound, Ultra-Sound…
Buckets of Vaseline, Can’t Stop my LIPS Cracking…
OutSide the Foliage is TURNin’ Brown, Turnin’ Brown…
I’m Snappin’ Photos of it ALL around, All Around…
More Into NATURE Than an Eagle Scout, Eagle Scout
It’s so damn Pleasuring, to Watch these LEAVES Dying (woohh)

Jump into a Giant Stack of Leaves, Yo…
Crispy as a Week-Old Box of Spring Rolls…
Crush ‘em up and BAG ’em by the KILO…
Crunchy Like TACO Locos Doritos…
… Chilly Autumn Breezes, give me watering eyes…
That’s why I was Cryin’ on the Farmer’s Hayride…
Nothin’ beats the comfort of a Warm Fire-side…
Even fake Electric ones are STILL kinda Nice…
And I’m Lovin’, Lovin’, Lovin’ LoVINN!!!,
My Coffee Flavored like a Pumpkin Pumpkinnn…
… That Venti “PSL” goes straight to my HEAD….
…Gimme the RUNS!… But it FEELS Festive…

I’m gonna Give up on my DIET, now… Diet now…
And Tell my Peleton to QUIET Down, Quiet Down…
Just Wanna Shovel Things into my mouth, to-my mouth
Candy on Halloween, I don’t do Rationing…
And When Thanksgiving finally Comes around, comes around,
I Treat my BODY like a Dumping Ground, Dumping Ground…
Drink So Much Gravy that I Almost Drowned, Almost Drowned…
My Tummy’s so Curvy, “SpaceX” would Orbit me,

I never Need to Tie my Shoes…
Cuz I am Wearin’ my Ugg Boots…
This Flannel GOT me in a MOOOOD,
Now i’m a Lumber-JACKIN Dude…
And my HOME IS SUCH A COZY PLACE!
We Decorate it for the Holidays
With Mini Pumpkins on a Serving Tray
More Bells & Whistles than my Resume…

Sippin’ Hot Cocoa on a Comfy Couch… Comfy Couch…
With Tiny Marshmallows a-Floating Round, Floating Round…
I sip too Quickly and it Burned my mouth, burned my mouth…
Enjoy the Painful Sting, of my Tongue Blistering…
Wearing a Onesie all AROUND the House, round the house,
Under a Blanket weighing Thirty Pounds, Thirty Pounds…
Watching a MURDER-Series with your Spouse, with your Spouse
Those Scary Movie Scenes, give me the BAD wet dreams (Whoooooaa)

My Skin Gets, So Pasty
The Sun Goes Away…
One Rain-Drop, and now NO-ONE can Drive…

Kids like to Play out in the PUDDLES now, Puddles now
I’d Rather Stay Inside and CUDDLE Down, Cuddle Down,
While Watching men Get into HUDDLES now, HUDDLES now,
Football on The Big Screen, Nachos with Sour Cream…
I think I’m GONNA need a Sweater now, sweater now…
Dressing in 6 or 7 layers now, layers now…
Apples in WATER, I can Get Em Out, Get em Out,
Robert, I’m so Sorry, Nobody “BOB”s like me… (Whoaaaa)


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