The two best performances of the night book-ended the
"American Idol" Season 9 Top 10 men --
Michael Lynche and
Lee Dewyze.
The Top 10 men were 100% better than last week. Of course, that's like saying something is 100% better than being punched in the face.
Still, good for the guys -- they didn't get down-in-the-mouth after last week's harsh criticism. Instead, they came back with a vengeance and, well, it's better. It's still not great, but there is hope. So, in our order from best to worst, here are your Top 10 men:
No. 1 Michael Lynche
First of all, that shot of him arm-curling Aaron Kelly in his video package? Hilarious. Michael makes me think of, "Every morning at the mine you'd see him arrive, he stood 6'6 and weighed 245. Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip. And everybody knew you didn't give no lip to Big Mike."
Anyway. Michael went first and he was the best. Total 180 from last week. His smooth R&B vibe was smoking on "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown and he absolutely owned the stage. Owned it hard. There were runs but not too many, his tone was rich and the ending was beautiful. Great performance. Also, Michael's arm curls and joke about getting a pedicure make him so incredibly likable that it's hard to imagine him leaving the competition any time soon. He's like big roughneck Michael Sarver from Season 8 except with more personality. The judges concur, they'e very complimentary.
No. 2 Lee Dewyze
This performance wasn't perfect but it was the most contemporary performance of the Top 10 men. The judges are absolutely right when they say Lee is current and that they could hear him on the radio. Interestingly, Lee sounds a lot like the lead singer of The Verve Pipe -- if they do a 90s night, he would kill "The Freshmen."
He also has the cute thing going for him. He's Kris Allen-cute but also slightly grungy and garage band-y -- but he's not so edgy that he scares the nice tweens, moms and grandmothers who vote for this show. Lee has been near the top for two weeks so he could probably totally blow it next week and still advance to the Top 12.
No. 3 Alex Lambert
The award for Most Improved goes to Alex Lambert. He did poorly last week and was right to be uber-relieved when he stayed on results night. However, his performance this week of "Everybody Knows" by John Legend was solid. His tone was just unbelievable. He needs to sing "Sweetest Goodbye" by Maroon 5 at some point, because his tone is quite reminiscent of Adam Levine. The only real bum note was the last falsetto -- support from your diaphragm, Alex. The judges are similarly positive about his improvement. Simon wants him now to grab the competition by the throat and really try to win.
Let's talk for a second about Alex Lambert's non-performing persona. First of all, he sounds like Matt Saracen so much it's scary. Secondly, the mullet has got to go. Finally, what is with the plaid jacket he had on? He looked like Mr. Dewey from "Saved by the Bell." This look is just not okay.
No. 4 Andrew Garcia
I'm at odds with the judges that "matter" on this one. Andrew's "You Give Me Something" by James Morrison was exactly the reason why we all liked Andrew in the first place. When he got to the "Someday I might call you from my heart but it might be a second too late," there were goosebumps. His tone was clear and pure, gorgeous. The only reason he's not higher is because it wasn't perfect and I want more from Andrew. He can give more.
Kara and Simon also want more from him but could've been more complimentary. Ellen commented that she wants to get Andrew's name tattooed on her neck, which was hilarious. It's nice to see Ellen relaxing . Tonight she stradled the line of critiques and jokes, whereas last week she was too stiff.
The interesting thing about "Idol" is that we're trained to want a lot from the people who've been hyped and be happy with merely clearing the bar by thosee who haven't been. That's really what's going on with Lee Dewyze and Andrew Garcia right now. However, Lee was still better than Andrew Tuesday night , but maybe it's because the subconscious expectations are higher for Andrew. It's hard to say.
No. 5 Aaron Kelly
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Justin Bieber met Motown? Here it is with Aaron Kelly doing "My Girl" by the Temptations. Aaron took out the great falsetto parts like on "So much honey" and gave the song a very bland feel, though it was still a solid vocal in the first half. The second half had some rough spots, particularly the one falsetto part he didn't quite reach. However, there was no emotion there. Aaron might just be too young. He doesn't connect with the music or the audience and it's because he has this great instrument and no idea what to do with it. He was all over the place Tuesday.
Simon agrees with me, but he knows it's futile to criticize Aaron at this point because he's adorable and will sail through. He's David Archuleta minus Archie's incredible voice. Just btw, Aaron pulls his own Pam Beezley in the clip from backstage last week when Simon compliments him and he gets so flustered that he turns back to the camera all, "What was the question?" It's cute.
No. 6 Todrick Hall
The judges ripped Todrick apart for his "What's Love Got to do With it" by Tina Turner. While I agreed last week that his Kelly Clarkson riff didn't work, I completely disagree this week. I thought his twist on "Love" was really good overall. Some parts weren't stellar, but his slow-jam beginning, his falsetto "Oh oh ohs" before the chorus and his heartbreaking ending were solid. The judges could do nothing but bag on his arrangement.
The judges' treatment of Todrick Hall is infuriating.
All they do is tell contestants to change up the songs, make them their own and then they've got somebody like Todrick who is actually
doing that and all they can do is shut him down. Todrick is like Adam Lambert in the way he is changing up his performances and just because the judges don't care for his versions doesn't mean they should be so negative. Randy actually said that "a great song doesn't need a wild arrangement" which ... are they goldfish? They have the attention span of goldfish! "Ring of Fire" is a great song by a legendary artist, but nobody bagged on Adam Lambert when he slaughtered it. If the inconsistency is this frustrating for the audience, it must be excruciating for the contestants.
Kara cited Todrick's original audition song as a good example of something he has done and then
actually said, "What happened to Todrick with his unique spin on stuff [
big pause] without going all over the place." She had to stop herself, realize what she had just said, and qualify it so she didn't sound like a complete idiot. They don't think Todrick's arrangements worked, but to bag on him so badly ... it's no wonder other performers don't want to change up songs. Look what happens when you do! It's hypocritical and ugly.
No. 7 John Park
John Park is a good-looking man and his "Gravity" by John Mayer took him from singer-at-grandparents-anniversary-party to sexy current artist. That being said, he was completely forgettable. By the time I got around to writing this, I had literally forgotten about him. And I do this for a living! There were nice moments -- it was a very proficient vocal. But John needed to really let loose and he never did. He was holding back both weeks and that's too bad because he probably won't get another chance.
Being forgettable is the "Idol" kiss of death. If you're good, you get votes. If you're horrible, your voting bloc gets scared and goes into overdrive. If you're "meh" and forgettable, you're toast.
No. 8 Jermaine Sellers
Jermaine picked "What's Goin' On" by Marvin Gaye, which is a big song choice and it's not great. It's breathy and has some pitch problems. The chorus kicks up and there's a big glory note plus a small scat section that is decent, but there are just too many pitchy parts.
The judges don't love it, but you gotta love Jermaine's attitude. He says if they could just go to church with him and Simon says he would go with Jermaine, which I would pay good money to watch. Simon then responds that what Jermaine did was not church singing. Hmmm. That makes me wonder if Simon has been to an African-American church. Just sayin'. He asks the judges what he should sing next week, then, and Simon lobs a "won't be here next week" quip but Ellen drops some decent music knowledge with a "how 'bout some Frankie Beverly and Maze." That would be great for Jermaine. Well done, Ellen!
Anyway, the judges didn't love Jermaine this week and that's fair. He still improved though. Here's what was
really offensive: His Carlton Banks outfit. A bowtie and a sweater-vest? Why not just sing "It's Not Unusual" and dance "The Carlton" and be done with it? Get Alex Lambert and Jermaine Sellers to a stylist.
No. 9 Tim Urban
On the plus side, this song is a much better choice for Tim Urban. There are some good, clear notes. And he's wearing a tight t-shirt -- the ladies will be pleased. On the minus side, Tim was still really weak vocally on "Come on Get High" by Matt Nathanson. He also has very little charisma and stage presence, as Ellen astutely pointed out. He's cute but is he cute enough to stay?
Nevermind that he absolutely shouldn't. Tim should've gone home last week. But "Idol" is a popularity contest first and foremost, so there you go. Tim is really cute. Those tweens, they are a-textin'. Interestingly, while the judges pan Tim, Simon Cowell bestows his seal of approval and basically guarantees him another week. The people listen to Simon Cowell and if he says Tim should stay, Tim will stay.
No. 10 Casey James
Don't get me wrong -- I like Casey James. But this vocal was incredibly weak. He got out of breath, he couldn't hit the lowest notes, he couldn't reach the highest notes, it was unsupported and his voice is too thin for a song like this.
However. All that will be lost in the smoke & mirrors of his guitar playing. That display had panties bursting in flames all over place (we're looking at you, Kara). Casey has apparently been hiding his inner Rock God all along because the dude can wail on the strat. Except this show is not called "Guitar Hero." Casey is safe -- between the guitar and his "I bought and restored my own house" blue-collar-handy-man sexiness, he'll live to sing another week. But it was a very weak vocal hiding behind some fancy fret-work.
Who's Going Home?
John Park and either Todrick Hall or Jermaine Sellers. Sure, Tim Urban is a weaker vocalist and so was Casey James (this week). But those vocalists have the votes because they are harmless and cute. Historically, "Idol" minority contestants have to bring it so much more than cute white contestants and therein lies the problem for Park, Hall and Sellers. They aren't wowing us, they aren't divas, they aren't teddy bears. They are very middling.
But Casey and Tim are cutie-pies. Which will keep them around a long time. Who should go home? If we're going on pure vocals from this week, Casey James (who is good, but had a bad week) and Tim Urban (who is just not that good). But we all know that'll never happen, so I would be shocked if someone goes home who is not John Park, Jermaine Sellers or Todrick Hall.
Photo: Williams/Getty
